Isolation
A loneliness that feels suffocating.
When you begin to outgrow individuals, be it those close to you. There's an intense grief you feel knowing you want a version of themselves you know you can never have.
To crave connection especially to those you love at a depth which unfortunately is earned. People only meet you at the depths they meet themselves. A crushing, difficult and frustrating realisation. No easy feat to overcome.
Those of us that see deeply, hold space for others and make them feel safe. Often our efforts aren't seen, the inner work and the ability to empathise is not matched. There's a kind of darkness that lingers when you see with such clarity.
Most people fall short in such a realm of vision, expecting without having the resources to acknowledge let alone give back. Even those that are related to us by blood, experience elongated periods of time together can turn out to be strangers from a different angle.
So isolation becomes the unpredictable path down a road leading into a dark yet beautiful forest. No map. No company. Only silence. To which some wouldn't even dare to enter. Alone, sad and begotten.
The price we pay for choosing to grow, to seek and to wander inwards into our souls. A somber moment, a silent ache that stays with you. Mourning the loss of the living. Loneliness becomes reality on such a journey.
Why is it this way? What is isolation trying to show me?
People fear growth, change and to evolve. Stuck within their stubborn identities they cultivated as a child, grew as a teenager and watered in their early 20’s. Then it just becomes their way of living until death takes them.
What many people don’t tell you is they suffer quietly in their ways because they cannot change. Dreaming of a different reality, fantasising about a life that isn't theirs, like a movie, they are the directors of their own imaginations.
Now the whispers of truth are coming to the surface. Maybe the pain we feel is proof we are actively trying to live our fantasies into reality. Manifesting and working towards a dream that isn't based within the confines of our minds.
Suffering alone, wondering how we are going to do it. Racking our minds finding possibilities and solutions to develop into our future enigma. We were placed in the forest, not to feel alone. But a playground to construct our own oasis. To form the treehouses, to appreciate the surroundings and to find joy in a place that no one thought to explore. Freedom to be.
On this journey, you have the company of One who most do not have the privilege to encounter. The One who is with the patient, speaking words of reassurances and providing candles of light along your path. Who loves the best, heals your wounds and carries the burden of isolation with you. How magnificent God is.
The pain of being in the void with people, was to get you to understand the elation within God's company. I am but only grateful for being in such a place.
God put you in the forest, so you can build an empire within.
Such a gift. Breathe, this is the journey of your dreams.
If this piece made you contemplate things in your own life, then I feel accomplished.
I write to seek truth in myself, and in doing so I hope to bring some light in your pursuit of truth.
Thank you for reading.